First, some warm-up parody (pun intended):

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And now, the main event: Real-life. (Which is more ridiculous than any parody.)

Mega Facepalm

Um, what exactly do you mean by “best scientist”?

You know, in case your stupid liberal cause wasn’t enough by itself to motivate you to attend.

Inefficiency is the new efficiency!  –Sungevity

I know, right?

Well, the stupid here is suffocating, that’s for sure.

Yes, their slogan is “Greening the planet one race at a time.”

You’re welcome, comrade.

Its Happening

They didn’t really think it through. #DesignFAIL

It was a rhetorical question — she has no idea what that means.

Making shit, indeed. (See what I did there?)

Let’s engage with Helena for a moment, shall we?

Moving on…

Oh, Jesus Christ.

I just love the CyberPrefixer.

Fuck recycling.

FYI:

This story is so triggering.

A liberal who won’t debate something? Pish-posh!

(And any Republican who isn’t there to make fun of you isn’t actually a Republican.)

Liberals just love to rhyme their sound bytes…

Of course, we can’t forget the classics…

Bullshit walks, indeed. How apt!

That’s not an exaggeration.

But it is recyclable?

More You Know

This is one reason why this nonsense should make you very angry. Trillions of dollars, wasted.

(And no, it’s not because they’re Black.  This brand of stupidity transcends race.)

And another ridiculous alliteration:

Morons.

*Vomits again*

These people literally have zero self-awareness.

A very, very low number, I assure you. I’ve spent time around these people; I’ve seen the ignorance firsthand.

Everything these fuckers do sounds communist.

“Greening the planet one race at a time.”

Here’s that Instagram picture from her tweet:

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And here’s some reparations silliness:

#NotAllMermaids

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I totally did.

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So, so obviously.

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That’s quite a brilliant idea.

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Subliminal of bourgeoisie interrogative extrapolating disenfranchisement butter.

…Oh, I’m sorry.  I thought we were playing the “string words together and make absolutely no sense” game.  My bad.

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Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the anarchist penguins!

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Cue the #PeoplesClimateHymns hashtag…

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LOL!!

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Number of segments it deserved: Also zero.

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Here’s one of the less significant causes I’ve seen as far as the whole “Sign My Petition!” thing goes:

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That’s not really a substantial number of people, when you consider that there are over 6 billion on Earth.

“How do we make it sound higher?” the climateers asked.

Just increase it, of course!

Presto!  Now there’s 400,000.  “But that’s still not all that impressive,” the climateers complained.  

Well, how about this:

Boom!  600 million people, in 70 countries.  Climateers: “Now THAT’s the kind of statistical manipulation that says ‘settled science!'”

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Holy shit — that is perhaps the stupidest thing I have ever heard.

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